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Nobody would probably read this update anyway.
Lots have been going on.
School sucks as usual.
It's always the typical shit.
Life is a struggle kind of thing.
Really there's so many generic stuff I'm doing routinely, it feels mundane at times to continue putting effort into it.
I miss being callous.
So much less worries.
So much less to care.
- Mood:
discontent
Shan't say much but I'm sure you know.
It's called mutual understanding.
Probably a little bit of respect.
But who am I to say.
- Mood: disappointed
But Frank doesn't know that.
Frankly, I think the situation is getting a little impractical.
But Frank doesn't want to agree with that.
Frankly, I am being selfish.
But Frank says that I am still young so to hell just enjoy myself.
Frankly, I think eventually I have to make a choice.
But Frank doesn't want to help me with that decision.
Frankly Frank is one jackass.
- Mood:
tired
I pity people who are like eggs.
They look so wholesome and healthy in many ways, but are in fact fragile little objects.
Before you try to think or look like an egg, think again.
- Mood:
good
Support.
Support beats sponsorships hands down.
It's a great feeling to know that there are people to back you up on your ideas.
Ideas that involves risks.
Ventures.
Artists support other artists.
It's the greatest feeling when you know somebody has faith in you to pull of the first Skateboarding Festival in Singapore.
I feel psyched.
I'm going to prove that this going to be different.
So you and your doubts can go fuck off.
- Mood: excited
7.5 inch deck.
7.5 inch trucks.
2 1/2mm riser pads.
8 1/8 inch hardwares.
50mm wheels.
Abec 7 bearings.
I just don't understand why I am a racist.
Well not really.
I just don't like differentiation of color.
Hating racist people makes me racist for some reason.
I hate racist chinese people because they think they're too cool.
I hate racist malay people because they think they're too cool.
I hate racist people who think other people are racist.
I'm being nonsensical and a racist.
I'm sleepy.
I want my skateboard.
- Mood: bored
Remember baby biscuits?
No.
It's alright.
Life in my very objective opinion, is fueled by progress.
Without progress, you'll just break down like a car in the middle of traffic.
People will drive pass and wonder why aren't you doing anything.
But then again there are those who get out of the car and start pushing their gas empty car in hopes of continuing their journey somewhere.
And sometimes they reel in the help of one or two more kind souls to help with the push down the street.
Right now, for some random reason.
Irfan just feels as though his progress has stalled and would rather choose to sit on the roof of his car than push it.
Maybe he has been driving too fast and wants to stop for a moment.
I wouldn't say I am depressed.
You have yet to see real depression.
Just a little lost.
Eventually I'll wind up somewhere.
This music video is all I need.
- Mood: lethargic
Then there are other times when you fall over the right one.
But there is one where you fall over the person you fell in love with.
So which is right or wrong?
Most of the time I just fall over my skateboard.
Other times a flight of stairs.
There are times I just fall over.
I hate turf wars.
I lack understanding of the fact that I understand some people who are idiots act the way they are.
I lost myself there.
- Mood:
silly
He does not worry about other stuff that requires a level of seriousness either.
But then again he has a feeling that something is amiss.
And now he is quite worried.
I have a bad feeling about this.
Wishful thinking.
- Mood: worried
And yes Irfan will start to enjoy writing in third person narrative.
Irfan has been living skateboarding for the past months.
He isn't anywhere near professional standards but he is getting better.
Hardflips work well so far on flat land and one foot gaps.
Next best thing is to hardflip down a set of stairs.
Lets aim small, so if we miss, we miss small.
Maybe three sets first?
Well sometimes we aim small, we still miss big.
Get what I mean? No?
Everything needs effort. Agree? Yes.
Whether it's kickflips, tre flips, hardflips, beauty tips or relationships.
This isn't making sense.
At this point in time, nothing much does.
Everything around is like baby biscuit.
Told you.
- Mood:
bouncy
Well yes oh shit really.
Sometimes we wonder what we're committed to.
Do we really know?
No not really.
You think?
No not really, no.
- Mood: complacent
Mister Ikmal has his pressure flip, fakie heelflip, frontside and backside flips and backside half-cab flip.
Mister Faiz has his shuv-it variations, fakie heelflip and nollie half-cabs.
Mister Alep has his double kickflips and nollie frontside bigspin.
Mister Ong has his fakie varial kickflip, twisted flip, varial double flip, twisted double flip, full-cab and hardflip.
Next trick to bag, fakie hardflip.
New shoes.
This weekend, it'll be a new deck.
Foundation.
The girlfriend and I has been very loving.
What's not to be loving about?
- Mood: ecstatic
Making every single one of your friends think or feel the same isn't easy either.
It's hard. Just like learning a hardflip.
There's is so much you can do.
Make it spin and flip perfectly.
But ultimately you have to commit and land the trick and roll away.
Not very trick landed is clean.
Not every conversation is either.
- Mood:
cynical
Only to breathe out a bigger air of despair.
If things were a tad simpler, I wouldn't feel so sick and tired.
But the thing is, convenience is almost non-existent at present.
I sense that life is going to crumble under pressure.
And even people who never frown will eventually break down.
- Mood: apathetic
There are the rich, the poor and everybody in between.
Well some are fortunate enough to be the former, while a couple handful have to settle for the second.
In between is nothing to worry about.
Maybe once in a while, the in betweens whine about not being able to get what they want.
Well it's been really disheartening to notice the people in the 'poor' category.
I mean I'm not rich.
I am not sure about my parents, but I for hell know that earning your own money and paying for bills and rent is something even Peter Parker has issues with.
When a friend or an acquaintance go up to you and kindly ask if you have some cash to spare for him because they are short on lunch money, what would you do?
Throw a hissy fit?
Tell him or her that you have enough for lunch and shopping?
Even a saint doesn't need to tell you that doing the right thing is a no-brainer.
Just by knowing that there are kids out there who struggle to have decent lunch money is sad.
And it's not because they spent their money on collector cards, game consoles or whatever else.
Ever thought that perhaps their parents are trying damn hard to make ends meet domestically and have problems giving their children money for lunch?
And here we live in a society where kids with privileges are still complaining about being under privileged.
I feel ashamed writing this.
We can't change the adversity of poverty in the world in our lifetime, but we can always do our part in society.
- Mood: sad
When you're sick, sometimes you don't think about what to say, you just say it.
Like this little rhyme I came up with while talking to Lily one the phone.
"I lay on my bed,
I stare at the ceiling.
I scratch my crotch,
I feeling feeling."
Whatever the fuck, it was catchy for some reason.
Three cheers.
And also talking about crotches, though what I'm going to talk about next has nothing to do with scratching crotches.
It is so hard to trust nowadays.
Yes you've heard me say it.
Hard.
To.
Thrust.
No seriously.
Why can't people be trusted?
You know why I'm saying this?
Because I bought a hot pink YoYoJam SpeedMaker yo-yo, they shipped in a bloody yellow one.
The hell?
But I should have no reason to whine.
Alas, I have 'Final Fantasy Revenant Wings' on the NDS.
So nice.
- Mood: amused
"Yeah, I listened to one-sided story, but that is enough said to prove my judgments about her."
Let's break it down.
Before that. I didn't call you a predator.
There is a very different connotation to what I typed and what people perceptually read to their liking.
Back.
"Yeah, I listened to one-sided story,"
One sided stories normally don't have truth to them.
I could be wrong. But I'd rather be right.
"but that is enough said to prove my judgments about her."
Referring to the above paragraph, no truth to story could verily mean not substantial enough to come to a conclusion regarding the situation.
And you know what. We're not mad at you.
We are mad at Seha.
If you were to exclude me and Lyn from the "We", then well I can't tell you friend that Dayah is one person who can tell you the truth.
Aren't we being a little petty?
Especially for a girl who thinks she's meant to grow up in the rock and roll era in the 60s? Or something like that.
Food for thought.
Considering your talk about fairness, I shall say your journal lacks of it.
But you know what?
Since you want to move on.
Alright then.
You don't need villain-ness people like us in your life, I totally agree.
After this, we stop writing about this.
Fair?
Yes fair.
- Mood:
devious
Yes, I'd know you knew.
If one was to translate that into some profound self-esteem statement, it would would probably mean that one should put effort in being an optimistic instead of a pessimist.
Well not really profound.
I can't par say that I have any right to correct people for whining about their poor, "the world's against me", teen statement.
But sometimes walking contradictions ought to listen.
To themselves talk or write for whatever matter.
I like to whine too.
Like now.
I'm whining for 'Final Fantasy: Revenant Wings', 'Final Fanstasy: Tactics A2', 'Guitar Hero' and many more all for my Nintendo Dual-Screen.
We're all weird.
That makes us all the same.
- Mood:
geeky
Intolerant people.
Ever heard from somewhere that what makes you angry, makes you blind?
Well some not so famous wise man said that.
Here we have a jackass or a bitch who is irritating the shit out of you, do react?
Well as hell no I won't.
Why?
Because it only makes you look stupid and gives the idiots who irritated you a kick out of the drama unfolding.
Case study number one.
You have a friend (let us name her L) who has always been by your side, in class and what not.
Then one day somebody (let us name her S), that somebody being somebody who bitched about you behind your back to her friends, despise you for interfering with her life, tells you something about L bad mouthing you.
Do notice in the start of the previous sentence I said to her friends and not with. There is a difference.
Understandably you would go into a bitch fit.
But you see, you get so darn pissed at L, you outweigh all your judgments about S and decide to set fire to a very clueless and I might say innocent victim, namely L.
You don't see that in fact S has been the one bitching about your working attitude. Perhaps because S left out some truth to the whole story?
I shall give you the liberty to call me on my cell-phone and humiliate me if I am wrong and that maybe S has in fact told you about her bitching session about you.
You can tell me I'm wrong to judge the situation and if S has in fact seek forgiveness for starting this mess.
I can honestly tell you we did not start talking behind your back.
I like the way I blog and turn the excerpt from a 3rd person to a 1st person.
Anyway.
This is a blind stab in the dark. Alright not really. I have my reasons for bagging on this topic.
And by the way. People who have done no wrong have no reasons to run, hide, change blog address, delete people off friendster (pretty kiddy thing to do), avoid messenger appearances, and, and, well and.
It's a provoking post indeed.
Enjoy the video.
- Mood: calm
He feels the heat scorch his back.
He wipes his brow of sweat before they burn his eyes.
One step.
Two he centers his footing.
Shuffling to get a good grip of his position.
He pops and tries to get a good air.
And with a trifling need, he makes sure his kick is on the money.
Flip.
He tucks in his loose foot as soon as possible to regain his frame.
First the back, then the front.
He lands sweetly.
Rolling out of the perfect kickflip with a cheeky grin.
- Mood: bouncy
